{"id":929,"date":"2005-06-12T16:24:45","date_gmt":"2005-06-12T21:24:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/flyingplates.com\/?p=929"},"modified":"2016-07-26T16:25:37","modified_gmt":"2016-07-26T21:25:37","slug":"strike-three","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/flyingplates.com\/?p=929","title":{"rendered":"Strike three!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Someone asked me how the on line dating is going. I am sorry to report:<br \/>\nNOT well!<br \/>\nAfter weeding out the obvious misfits, I still came up with a few loosers. There was the old fart who &#8220;likes his women lean&#8221;. Sorry but I am not a piece of bacon in a butcher shop window. Then there was the married guy who pretended to be single, and always the perverts&#8230;<br \/>\nI DID go on one date.<br \/>\nIt was a dinner date in a nice restaurant. I had dressed with care: silk outfit, high heel sandals, fresh make up, shiny hair, nice necklace, a discrete spritz of expensive perfume: the works!<br \/>\nWe were to meet at seven, so I drove downtown with plenty of time to spare, in case of traffic. I got there early, parked my car and waited. At seven my cell phone rang, he was stuck in a meeting and would be delayed an hour. No use driving all the way back home, and I was too dressed up to go shopping, so I sat there, wilting away in the heat.<br \/>\nWhen he finally got out, it was decided I would follow him in my own car, as the place we were going to was closer to where I live than to downtown. As I was driving down the high way, the phone rang again. He was not feeling well: pain and nausea (was he pregnant????), I offered to call it a day but he suggested we pull off the road and go for coffee instead. And that is how the dinner date in a nice restaurant turned into a coke in a MacDonald&#8217;s parking lot. And, as if this was not enough&#8230;<br \/>\nBecause of the carbonated drink on my empty stomach, when he kissed me goodnight&#8230;I BURPED!<br \/>\nStrike three!<br \/>\nI am hoping that he will think he was delirious with pain and imagined the whole thing&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Someone asked me how the on line dating is going. I am sorry to report: NOT well! After weeding out the obvious misfits, I still came up with a few [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-929","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/flyingplates.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/929","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/flyingplates.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/flyingplates.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flyingplates.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flyingplates.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=929"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/flyingplates.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/929\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":930,"href":"https:\/\/flyingplates.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/929\/revisions\/930"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/flyingplates.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=929"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flyingplates.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=929"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flyingplates.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=929"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}