I had a crate full of old files that needed to be destroyed. Burning them was not an option as it is too hot here right now to start a fire, besides my fireplace smokes up the house whenever I try to burn anything .
\nThe solution? My old faithful shredder. It is one of those amateurish domestic jobs. We took the longest time getting acquainted. First of all, it is unionized, and needs a break every 15 minutes. There is no way around it, believe me I tried!
\nIt must be female also as it has a tendency to heat up easily. I remedied this problem by making sure we only operate it in the shade and in a draft.
\nBut it’s biggest challenge is shredding actual pieces of paper. It only takes one sheet at a time if the paper is anything thicker than news paper. I does not take kindly to X Rays. But even after respecting those limits it would still get jammed. I learned the hard way that it does not like having paper slid from the sides…only smack in the center of the opening. And it likes a regular rythm of feeding, no sudden bursts.
\nEverytime it gets jammed, I have the option of switching directions, which is like backing up a car…paper ribbons of all colours come spewing out instead of sliding gently inside the container. It is never enough. I must unplug the apparatus, remove the cover , and poke through the blades with whatever is handy. In this case it started with an excato knive, then a kitchen knife, tweezers, and ended with wooden skewers….
\nI always managed to get it working again after a few false starts…save for once…It blocked very suddenly instead of first making the usual straining sounds. I looked down and saw something shiny through the paper ribbons…I managed to dislodge it…
\nIt was a false tooth with a gold crown….creepy…..<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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