There was an article in the paper recently titled: “All gifts should have a meaning – and a card, of course”. The author says (among other things): ” Presents have always been a big deal for me. I chose them carefully. I consider a gift an expression of affection and caring – it is a sign that someone bothered – or absence of same… There’s a Swedish proverb to the effect that gift exchanges make love last longer. Erich Fromm, the psychoanalyst and social theorist, observed that when we give, we give all that is good and alive in us – our understanding, our knowledge, our humour. The Buddha said we experience joy in both the act of giving and in remembering that we have given…” .
This could have been written by me, save for the card part. (I am not big on cards except when I make them myself, but usually I choose gifts that express what I want to say…thus making a card redundent). I truly enjoy looking for and finding the perfect gift for someone…It is hard work and not always crowned with success, but that does not deter me from trying…all year round…
But generosity is not given to everyone. Some people seem incapable or unwilling to give and I am not talking money. I mean giving of themselves, their time, their attention, their energy. Even giving a compliment seems beyond their capabilities. Others are just cheap and will only give if they gain something in return. While others use gifts to control people… I guess we are all guilty to a degree of buying some gifts out of obligation, especially at times when society pressures us to partake in gift exchanges…but even then, some people have a knack of gift giving with class…while others are sorely inadequate….
If there is a secret recipe to successful gift giving, it has to be: “Pay attention to the other person, watch, listen, notice, remember…”
I have been lucky to have recieved many many wonderful gifts over the years. I will not list them here, I cannot say thank you to everyone who has ever offered me a gift. But I can say thank you for the flowers, the chocolate, thank you for the books and CDs, thank you for the tablecloths and tea pots, thank you for all the surprises, but mostly: thank you for the time you spent with me, in other words thank you for your affection.