Someone asked me how the on line dating is going. I am sorry to report:
NOT well!
After weeding out the obvious misfits, I still came up with a few loosers. There was the old fart who “likes his women lean”. Sorry but I am not a piece of bacon in a butcher shop window. Then there was the married guy who pretended to be single, and always the perverts…
I DID go on one date.
It was a dinner date in a nice restaurant. I had dressed with care: silk outfit, high heel sandals, fresh make up, shiny hair, nice necklace, a discrete spritz of expensive perfume: the works!
We were to meet at seven, so I drove downtown with plenty of time to spare, in case of traffic. I got there early, parked my car and waited. At seven my cell phone rang, he was stuck in a meeting and would be delayed an hour. No use driving all the way back home, and I was too dressed up to go shopping, so I sat there, wilting away in the heat.
When he finally got out, it was decided I would follow him in my own car, as the place we were going to was closer to where I live than to downtown. As I was driving down the high way, the phone rang again. He was not feeling well: pain and nausea (was he pregnant????), I offered to call it a day but he suggested we pull off the road and go for coffee instead. And that is how the dinner date in a nice restaurant turned into a coke in a MacDonald’s parking lot. And, as if this was not enough…
Because of the carbonated drink on my empty stomach, when he kissed me goodnight…I BURPED!
Strike three!
I am hoping that he will think he was delirious with pain and imagined the whole thing…