It was a rainy weekend. I decided to give Internet dating one last try. I joined every known site, French, English, you name it, I registered!
It was terrible. How terrible you ask? Let me count the ways.
Take away all the married guys who are looking for discrete afternoon sex… and there are MANY! Then take away all the guys from third world countries (they can be forgiven for not knowing where Canada is located), but guys from the US? Florida, Kansas, West Virginia…what do they expect? To come up for a drink and drive back home after?
Among the remaining locals, how do they expect me to believe them when they cannot even spell the name of their alleged profession? A terapist, a layer, a bandie…well maybe the bandit…he was not required to spend three years in university.
How about their measurements? What is the point of lying about your age, your height or your weight? Don’t they think I will notice they are 70 years old, 5 foot 2 and 300 pounds when we meet face to face? Do they really think a let down is the best first impression you can make? One guy who listed himself as 5’10” must think everybody lies like he does because he took the trouble of asking me if I am really 5’10”? And when I replied: “yes, is that a problem?” He said: “ maybe…” and was never heard from since…
In the area of cultural experiences, a guy who says he does not remember the last time he saw a movie or read a book, and who tells me his favorite restaurant is Joe’s burger joint in some god forsaken village does not sound like Mister right for me.
Then you have guys who are a bit too candid. One guy wrote me: “all I want is sex do you think we are compatible?” Hellooooo! Care to give me your name first?
One guy wanted proof of employment to be sure I not would steal his money and run with his life savings…another wanted a signed statement that I would not ask for a marriage proposal…Yet another asked if I was one of those hysterical maniac anti smoking activists. NO I am not, but that does not mean that I want to kiss an ashtray. I guess everybody has their insecurities…some have more than that! I met two guys who are into role-playing. One wanted to be dominant and was looking for a submissive partner and the other was looking for a dominatrix. Maybe I should introduce them to each other. Unless I bring in this guy who was at the football game in a maid outfit….
